As many of you know I have recently lost someone I loved very much and although it took me a couple of days of sheer devastation and heart- break I finally remembered the one constant in my life – that it is me who decides what the events of my life mean. Now this doesn’t always mean it makes it all go away, however it does mean that I can lift some of the burden of sadness and move forward again.
I posted this quote on my Facebook profile and just had to share the continuting conversation with you all, it was so deep and profound:
My Original Post:
“When something crazy or unwanted happens, I never ask myself “Why did that happen… ?” Rather I ask “If I could give that a reason for happening, what would it be?” I assign everything a reason, I decide how I am going to feel about … things, & I choose with great deliberation my responses. The act of Personal Creation, once internalized & utilized, can turn around one’s entire life.” – Neale D Walsch
My Next Comment:
“For me nothing really means anything unless and until I give it a reason… I choose the response according the reason I give the happenings in my life, therefore I am in charge of creating my life – things are neither good or bad but rather I decide if it served some higher purpose.
That being said some things hurt and some things will never be … remembered with joy, however I will assign a reason and that will become the way I remember it from then on… and be remembered as part of a higher purpose and education of my soul. This is an important lesson that took me a long time to learn – I am the creator of my world, I need to decide which direction events take me. How about you how do you deal with life’s events?”
“This is a very important point Annie. Things hurt because of what we choose to make them mean to us. It’s hard to grasp this when we are feeling emotional pain and loss but there is also something very freeing about accpeting the role of creator in your own life. It doesn’t necessarily lessen pain around large events but I find it does lessen the duration of the intensity of the pain because it helps in letting go….sending you love for your little Sasha”
“I think it’s because all the like minded people are vibrating to abundance and love and then all the ‘limiting things and challenges’ are showing up. Be strong everyone who wants a better life…lets support and love each other and we’ll get our rewards and our dreams…:) “
My Next Comment:
“I agree Suz and Sam – because things are about to shift the things that have held sway are ramping up in our lives to see if we really mean it allowing us to face our fears and prove that we can live through them and go on.
Rather than allow things to bring us down, we need to live in honour of love, beauty, wonder, awe and abundance and break through our limitations.”
“Our deepest, truest, liberation inspiration comes when we realize… when we really KNOW that this is how it works. Then, the great challenge of REMEMBERING how to direct our thoughts to engage this power just may be the most important consciousness task of this lifetime.
None of this ‘knowing’ is much good to us if we do not first master the art… of awareness. All of our power is held in the moment, locked within each thought. We must first and foremost become consistently aware of our thoughts.
This is a most wonderful challenge to face! Enjoy the ride ~”
My Next Comment:
“Donna – beautiful as usual in those times when you are feeling truly heartbroken it is then we must remember that we can choose a response – no matter how saddened I can know in my deepest being that I have given the event a reason – even if on one level I know the reason was created by me – the act of create still inspires a sense of lightening… See more of the burden of grief and we can begin to think more clearly.
Yes we still hurt but it is not the all encompassing hurt that keeps us still for fear of feeling, it is the hurt that get’s up and continues on with life – allowing the tears to come when they will – yet moving forward.
P.S. I have treated myself to a little silver star I wear around my neck – and at those times when tears come unbidden, I touch it and feel closer to the deep love I felt and still feel for my grandson – this makes it easier as I know I will never allow my heart to close because of the pain – in fact it is now more open than ever before, more vulnerable – yet stronger.”
Sam’s Next Comment:
“I love the idea of your star Annie. Sometimes it’s really helpful to have a point of closeness present in this world and it allows us to connect but yet to still stay HERE and BE as powerful as we can. I really hope this thread helps some people! There is such great input here…any possibility you can make it into a post? (you know. in your spare time??lol) xx”
What’s the most important point in this whole conversation?
That the Act of Creation at all times is yours, you create your life
by the meaning you decide to place on the events in your life.
I can know this for sure because for many years now I have lived by this universal truth, and made it my mission in life to prove to others that this is how the universe works. I do know that there will be people who will read this post and say, “It might be easy for you, but you have not had the experiences in life that I have had, mine are worse! and it’s just not that easy.”
I have heard these words directed at me before, can I gently remind you that this is your choice to take the role of victim in your life, Yes things still happen in fact if I am really honest with you I can tell you that things have happened to me, everyone has a story, everyone has an excuse and I love you enough to remind you that you do have a choice to give your life a different meaning!
Before you decide that your story is harder than mine to come to terms, with let me tell you I have heard a lot of stories, stories that would break your heart, in fact my story has broken the hearts of other’s – not that I tell it very often
Many people who get stuck in the why is this happening to me stage and Rumi says: “The mystery does not get clearer by repeating the question. Until you’ve kept your wanting (things to be different) still for fifty years, you don’t begin to cross over from confusion.”
So please love yourself enough begin to create your life and your universe, by assigning a reason and a meaning to the events in your life, preferably a positive one, allow that positive lesson to allow that sense of being a victim of the events in your life to lift. Taking responsiblity for the events in your life, is not about assigning blame, its about deciding how you are going to respond to the events in your life.
You can even go back over past events and look at the lessons you may have gained from that event having happened, not to try to make it a happy event, but just to assign a reason or a meaning to it e.g. When I was 12 I was raped by a friend of the family – what did I learn? One of the most important lessons of my life! It may have taken a little while for me to ‘get it’ however I did – that no-one can take anything from me that I don’t give to them – including my sense of self esteem, confidence and most of all my sense of safety in the world, I also learned that I am stronger than I ever thought possible. That man didn’t take anything from me I would not have lost anyway in a physical sense – but my response to what happend could have given him my trust in people, my confidence, my sense of being safe, in fact my whole life might have been different if I hadn’t understood the education he gave me about me.
This in no way excuses what he did, not ever! But because of my response he is nothing other than a bad memory and holds no power over me at all, in assigning a meaning I took back my power! This lesson has held me in good stead through most of the events of my life from that point onward, this latest grief – the loss of my tiny grandson – has also tested my ability to respond and the lessons learned over a lifetime of experiences are guiding me through the grief.
I have allowed my heart to open further when I could have closed it for fear of future pain, I have allowed myself to be touched by the sadness yet lifted up in grace as I allow the memory of that tiny body snuggled against me to send me to rest at night. I have beautiful memories of his father’s (my son) love for this little soul and the look of love on his face and care he gave to his baby son, yes they make me cry, but these memories are also full of joy and so I allow the tears to fall and do not shrink back from them. There is no meaning I can put to my grandson’s passing at this stage it is all to close for that, but I can put a meaning to his life and the joy he brought to so many.
Now I want you to take a look at the events of your life, particularly if the memory of what happened to you is holding you back in some way, out of love for yourself – decide right now that you will assign a new meaning to it, a positive one. Use the act of creation to change the feeling around the memory and use that to move forward and break through any barriers you may have built around it.
The ‘Act of Creation’ is magical and can totaly change your life and I want to ask you “Can you source your life from it’s beauty and magic every day? I leave you with the words of one of my favourite poems “The Invitation”:
“I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it’s not pretty, every day, and if you can source your life from it’s presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon. “Yes!”
It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
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