Stand Up, Speak Out, Now is the Time

A Facebook Conversation about making a different, bringing awareness and being a catalyst:

Kama J Frankling begins the conversation: “In order to make a difference, in order to bring awareness to human behaviour, in order for anything to change, we need to be a catalyst for peoples triggers. If others are to learn more about themselves, to wake up or to see where they have been blind then we need to say things and do things with purpose. We don’t have to preach, we don’t have to yell, we just have to question. We have to ask what others don’t dare to ask, we have to be what others don’t dare to be. When we do this we activate within people an emotional space that they thought they had hidden so well. We set off a ripple effect that can come back to us in doses of high levels of self defense mechanisms. This is usually when we back down, when we step away, when we feel it is too much. Maybe this is the time when we should be stepping up and noticing that we are making an impact on the world? Think of the people who inspire you, they inspired you because they triggered you, because they woke you from a slumber. The trick is … how do we cope with the initial bombardment of defense against something that is not even an attack?”

Annie Infinite’s reply: I really believe that we have come to a time in history when the strong ones need to stand firm in our truth and calmly and kindly speak out without wavering and allow those who feel the fear to feel it without taking it on ourselves, remembering it is just a fear of the dark of the unknown and of disrupting the status quo, remembering that to get out of a deep rut we have to steer towards the edge and it be prepared for a bumpy ride to freedom LOL

It is not about spouting an endless stream of feel good messages it is about finding a way forward through the miasma of crap people have built around themselves – even the so-called spiritual ones – and creating a great perturbation with loving intent, confronting long held belief patterns with inestimable and incontrovertible logic that questions their boundaries, and catalyzes their inner questioner to ask more questions of themselves. We need to remember that their fear reaction and defense mechanisms are not about us at all, but their own inner questioner. This defensiveness means that we have tilted them and they feel off balance which is a Yippee moment for us even though the backlash might seem directed at us personally. Anything at all you feel you have to defend means you don’t really believe it yourself as the truth doesn’t need defending so don’t fall into that trap, just keep reiterating your truth kindly and compassionately.

It is important to remember that any catalyst will change things only after an initial perturbation.chemical-reaction-gif2

In chemistry an initiating factor  is called the catalyst, add the catalyst and for a while you will often see nothing but a roiling, bubbling mass, as the mixture changes from one state of being to another, later as the initial reaction settles down the chain reaction starts to show itself in a wave of smaller rolling perturbations that travel the new pattern forward in an infinite wave of beauty and awakening in a new pattern spreading outward in a chain reaction like a fractal pattern.

Speaking your truth is an essential aspect of living a life of passion, fulfillment and authenticity. However, for many of us it is much easier to talk about speaking our truth than it is to actually do it. Even though there is also an inbuilt fear of disrupting the status quo, a fear of the unknown just like the fear of the dark when we were children we cannot see far enough to feel comfortable and disrupters are those who dare to introduce a different topic or worse a radical idea – watch “The Croods” a very funny kids movie and right on this topic.

What if we had the courage to speak up like that in all areas of life—our work, our relationships, our family, with people in public? Imagine the freedom and power we would possess. This is not about getting in people’s faces and challenging them, in fact I like to keep to the maxim “say what you mean but don’t say it mean”.  An important distinction for us to remember is the difference between our opinions and our truth. We all have opinions—lots of them. Many of us think our opinions are actually facts, though they’re not! There’s nothing wrong with having and expressing opinions. However, many of them are filled with righteous judgment and an arrogant sense that we’re right and those who don’t agree with us are wrong.Our “truth” runs much deeper than any of our opinions. Truth is about how we feel and what is real for us. Truth is not about being right; it’s about expressing what we think and feel in an authentic, vulnerable and transparent way. This distinction is not just about semantics or words, it is total shift in perspective and context. When we let go of being “right” about our opinions and take responsibility for our experience, we can speak our truth from a much deeper and more authentic place. Speaking this deeper truth will not only liberate us, but has the potential to make a difference for others while bringing you joy, remembering that just because the other person doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean they haven’t heard you.

How do we enhance and deepen our capacity to speak our truth with kindness, love and authenticity? There are lots of things we can do to accomplish this. Here are three to think about:

  • Stop managing other people’s feelings. I know this one well, as I can be the king of trying to manage other people’s feelings. It’s arrogant, manipulative and somewhat ridiculous to think we have the power to manage other people’s emotions. We also use it as a cop-out to not really speak our truth. We can be aware and mindful of other people and how they might feel (so we don’t end up being mean and hurtful on purpose), but when we let go of taking care of others in a condescending way, it frees us and them up to be grown-ups and have adult conversations, which sometimes can get a little sticky or tense when we’re speaking our truth. If you take offense or shut down as a way of handling the debate around your truth you have not learned the most important lesson about truth, it needs no defense.
  • Be real, not right. This is huge when it comes to speaking our truth. When we focus on winning or being right, we no longer can access the deepest places within our heart, which is where our real truth comes from. When we let go of our attachment to the outcome of a conversation, what the other person thinks and our erroneous obsession with always having to be right, we give ourselves the opportunity to get real. Being vulnerable and transparent are the key elements of speaking our truth, not dominating the conversation and the person (or people) we’re talking to, remember to validate that you have heard the others opinions even if you don’t agree with them. People have a need to be heard and acknowledged as long as they are sharing, not abusing.
  • Practice. Like anything and everything else in life, the best way for us to get better, deepen our capacity and grow is to practice. In this case, as we’re talking about speaking our truth, it’s not about role-playing per se (although if that helps give you the courage to have a difficult conversation, go for it). It is about speaking up and stepping into your life with your truth. Will you mess it up? Of course! Will you say the wrong things sometimes? Yes. Will people get upset, offended or defensive at times? Absolutely. This is not about being perfect, it is about being yourself and speaking authentically.

mind_2Have empathy and compassion with yourself as you practice—this is not easy for most of us. Even for those of us who have really worked to expand our capacity to speak our truth and have had many experiences of doing it in a powerful way, remember that each situation is always new and different. And, in certain areas of life (or with specific people), speaking up can be incredibly scary and challenging for us. Even if your legs shake, your voice quivers or your heart races (all of which usually happen when we get real and vulnerable), take a deep breath, dig down for the courage you have within you and be willing to speak your truth. When we do this, we can watch our relationships and lives literally transform.

Speaking our truth has become an essential part of the change we are all in the middle of, changing the current patterns is not easy, yet we all know we are unsatisfied with the world we have built around us full of greed, lust for power, unjust governments, famine, war…. For things to change we need to find a different approach, there is no way that fighting the status quo on it’s own terms will work, you cannot change something using the same tools that created it. Speaking our truth is not about fighting, but loving our world and it’s sentient beings enough to stand in the truth of who we are and speak from the heart with loving kindness and gratitude for all.

It is about standing up and speaking out and now is the time.

What is your truth? How can we help each other speak out? How can we empower others to do the same?

Like a great fractal of truth and awareness we can spread each others messages of empowerment and change creating an infinite pattern of such great beauty that future generations would look back on it in their history books as a time of enlightened change – who’s with me?