My darling son I love you so very much and I wanted to write to you today to answer the question you asked of me just a couple of weeks ago. This was such an important question that I wanted to take my time to gather my thoughts to answer in as complete a way as I can. You asked me why it was important to celebrate the joys in your life even when you are not feeling joyous.
This is my answer:
I know that you have guarded your heart because of things that happened in the past and I know this is an automatic instinct when you have been hurt and disappointed by life’s travails, I understand this I really do. However, have you really thought about whether this is working for you? I know there are some the people you have grown up with in your life who have shown you this is the way to handle the ups and downs of life, but take a look at those people is it working for them?
Numbing your heart only makes it harder to feel and enjoy the joyous moments when they come into your life, it makes it harder to truly love yourself and others fully and recieve that love in return and most of all my darling – it doesn’t stop you from feeling the hurt. Because no matter how hard you try to feel numb – it is only by carrying that pain around that you can harden yourself against it.
I see you continually reminding yourself of your past disappointments and hurts in order to ‘not feel’ and to do that you must keep remembering to guard your heart against them, this is not letting go of them this is carrying around an ever growing pack of hurt that gets heavier and heavier every day. Sweetheart, it’s time to put it down.
This isn’t who you are. The child I remember you to be is full of life, intelligence and most of all loving and compassionate with such depth of being and empathy, that I know this is one of the reasons you have tried to mask your feelings. I have to say my lovely son it is time to reclaim who you really are, the real you is there hiding and I still see glimpses of him in the way you are with your lovely wife, in the heartfelt hugs you give me and most of all now, in the way you look at your beautiful tiny son.
Do you truly believe you will hurt any less if the worst happens? Please give your tired heart a break, allow it to fully acknowledge and enjoy the joyous moments for they are the moments that heal you and your heart. It is in the healing that resilience develops and grows. Everytime you allow yourself to feel fully the moment you are in whether grievous or joyous your heart becomes stronger and more flexible and is able to carry you through the tough times and elevate you to heights unexpected in the happy times.
Be strong enough to be vulnerable and you will find your life so much more worth living in-joy your joy fully, estatically without worry of what the future might or might not hold. Why borrow trouble when it is not a sure thing? Allow yourself to feel the moments as they pass and they do pass. Take a leaf from the book of childhood, children cry, laugh, whinge, wonder, get angry, excited, disappointed, estatic.. all in the space of a moment and herein lies the strength of your inner child – trust your inner child to carry you through by allowing it to acknowledge the moments of your life fully and let them go.
This is the secret to being happy my darling, to fully feel each moment and then let it go..
Make a promise to yourself to feel the joy in each moment , in the little things, and to allow it to lift you up to where you can handle the rest of your life. Feel grateful for each moment for they bring on the next and please, please enjoy this tiny life you hold near your heart each day, yes I know your fear that he will follow his brother, but my darling now is the time to create happy memories you have been blessed in this moment with and those memories will be there in the future no matter what. I believe you will be sharing those moments with your tiny son when he is not so tiny and you will enjoy the moment when you can share the memories with him – make them happy ones and be grateful for the time that has been given to you to expand your heart.
I want to ask you too, what will you want to teach your son about life, joy and love will you teach him to live fully in every moment? I know you will, to do this well you will need to be a person who lives fully in every moment – be the role model you son will need you to be show him that life is a wonderful box of chocolates – you never know what you’re gonna’ get – and to be joyous in the adventure of being alive!
Remember joy is a moment-to-moment choice – make the choice to make joy and gratitude your focus and I promise your life will change completely from the very moment you make that choice.
and remember I love you and are eternally grateful for each joyous moment I have had you in my life,
© 2010, AnnieInfinite. All rights reserved.