In the Silence You Can Hear.. YOU

girl-solitudeIt’s funny isn’t it? How we can yearn for silence and solitude in this noisy, people filled world and yet when we are given just that some of us feel threatened. We don’t know exactly what we are afraid of we just know we are afraid.

This week I was speaking on Skype to New Zealand to a woman who is a serial monogamist, one partner after another with hardly any time in between to reset her own priorities. She finally rang me because she had a panic attack at the airport after the plane that was taking her daughters family to Australia left.

Yes, finally after months of preparations, weeks of them staying with her in preparation to emigrate to Australia she was in silence. A silence that hung over her like a cloud of doom even before she could get into her car to drive home to her empty house.

What made things much worse is that this lovely soul was also between partners at the moment, so she truly felt lost and alone and the dread of being alone put her into a full panic.

Why? Why do some of us dread alone time? Why do grown people who know there are no monsters under our beds feel such fear about being alone in an empty house? I have seen this a lot in my life.

Oriah in her original poem ‘The Invitation’ asks the same question:

“It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

This is just how pervasive this question is?

Being alone means we have no way to distract ourselves from our thoughts, no way to cover the mirror that shows us so starkly who we really are, no way to mask the emotions we have been keeping at bay, and no way to allow the deep stillness to invade our souls and open us up to all that we have been hiding from.

The answer my lovelies, is to allow. Please spend the time allowing all the monsters you are so afraid of to come into the light, get to know them intimately, befriend them and learn to love them. I promise this is the most healing thing you can do for yourself because as you connect, engage and learn more about your monsters you will find that they just need to be acknowledged and loved to turn into powerful allies you didn’t even know you had.

The source of our greatest power, is the very things we hide from. Those emotions, thoughts and memories we are hiding from are in fact our shadow side, the unacknowledged moments we believe we are too weak to deal with that when brought into the light are actually the source of our greatest learnings and biggest shifts, they then become our friends and form the basis of a new way of living and being in the world that guide us along different and more powerful paths to our future.

Instead of wandering around and around the same well trodden paths that lead us no-where, we will find ourselves on newer, fresher journeys filled with new adventures and new learnings, more motivated and emPOWERED than we have ever felt before. A new joy-filled energy will see us choosing new friends and loving the silence and solitude so much that we seek it every day just to reconnect with the most important person in our lived – ourselves!

This is the very first step in your evolYOUtion – take it today. I promise once you have allowed what is and was to just be, allowed your fears to settle and diminish and made friends with yourself and your past – magic will happen!

14 Replies to “In the Silence You Can Hear.. YOU”

    1. Hi Nikki I have been a single parent for about 15 years and even before that, their dad was hardly present, so I know what you mean, trust you will enjoy your alone time and it gets better I promise. It did for me xx

  1. Such a wonderful article and so relevant to what so many experience. There really is so much power it allowing what we think is darkness to come out and just ‘Be’. Thank you for sharing this powerful message. <3

    1. Yes I believe as we get a little older and the needs of youth fade we become bolder and wiser and are able to sit in the silence without needing to change it or fix it Di xx

    1. Hey Annabel, sometimes the monsters turn out to be frogs that just need some loving lol and sometimes when they are real monsters just looking them square in the face and getting very real about what it all means and how they are frightening you and what you can and cannot do about it, allows you to make plans for how you will cope if the monsters get snarly. Having a coping plan is key to moving through any crisis even if the plan is to allow yourself to fall apart for a while.

      When my baby grandson grew his angel wings, I just told everyone that I was having a grief breakdown and not to expect too much of me for a while. To give me time to move past it before asking me to pull up my socks and move on. I treated myself with kids gloves – something I hardly ever do – and the monsters that invaded my life at that time which had become so snarly that the unthinkable happened gave me the grace to fall apart for a little while and not be the strong one for once. I had actually decided ahead of time that if we lost him – he had a heart defect – that this is what I would do and it halved my fear of it. It’s about facing the worst that could happen and knowing that if it does you will come through it.

      I did the same thing when I decided to leave my ex, I faced the worst that could happen and knew I would cope. I hope this helps honey. xx

  2. Oohh Annie I am sorry..My step daughter 56years of age passed away about 6 weeks ago…I was close to her and OMG I am finding I am having trouble concentrating and everything seems to be piling in on top of me.

    I have been kind to myself,… but I suspect not

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