The other day on social media as happens so often, one person had a desperate need to be heard, he didn’t want a real conversation, he wanted to prove he was right and no-one would argue with him, he persisted and we all ignored his inflammatory comments and eventually the whole thread was deleted as the original reason for the post was lost.
My comment to him was as you see above, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? I choose happy!” I further explained that I knew the reasons for my beliefs via my own knowledge and experiences and I didn’t need to convert him to prove I was right and he would have no luck changing what I knew to be true and then I ended my comment with, “after all you can only be ‘right’ for one person, yourself.”
Do you understand this too? You may have wonderful ‘reasons’ for being heard, you may tell yourself that you want everyone to hear the truth so they won’t be scammed – as did this guy. The real reasons are often more to do with your ego’s need to be right, and have others agree that you are.
You may even love the idea of a grand debate where you can shut down all others arguments and prove yourself right, how does this serve you? and more to the point how does it serve those you believe you want to help?
Let me tell you a little secret, there is no way to covert others to your way of thinking, the best way to share your knowledge or experience is to just put it out there in a loving way, with no dissonance or aggressiveness and allow the seeds of your ideas to be planted and grow over time, if they do. Sharing with loving intent changes the whole way you communicate your opinions, values, ideals and dreams for the future, when it is said with a smile and when you remove the ego’s need to feel validated right away by others agreeing with you more will listen and more to the point hear what you are saying.
Remember to choose happiness for yourself at every chance, and remember that debating might be fun as long as you can let it go when it stops being fun. I choose not to argue with others most of time, I know I am right, for me. I often know via life experience or knowledge that I know a thing, but remember too that everything in this universe is subject to change without notice. This means that something I am sure I know today may not be ‘right’ tomorrow, LOL. This is what keeps me from arguing, along with the firm belief that if you are ready to hear my version of right, you will hear it without me having to ‘talk you into it.’
I wonder how you can use this information in your close relationships?
Do you argue about being right with your partner? Why? Do they have to agree with you so that you feel right? Or can you agree to disagree on many of the subjects you argue about?
Being in a conscious relationship with your partner or with the rest of the world may mean you will need to let go of the need to feel right or completely validated about what you choose to believe. Understanding that everyone has the right to choose for themselves what to believe and how to live their lives is a very important part of lightening up, you don’t have to carry around the whole load on your own.
Enlightenment is about lightening up, it is not crucial to our existence that we all believe the same things, if we did life could get very boring and very stuck as no new ideas would be born and that to me in my firm belief would be a much greater crime to humanity. Choose joy every time, it’s much easier to share a point of view when both of you are happy, loving and joyous.