Consequences of Maintainng a Facade of Perfection

screen-shot-2012-05-15-at-15-40-37I am going to tell you a story, a story about someone I have met and who over the time that I have known them has cemented my beliefs about the facade of perfection.

The person, is so manically wrapped up in their looks that their whole life is affected by one drama after the other, day in day out. This facade of perfection is very centered on this person’s looks, only the correct photographs can be allowed to be seen, only those photo’s that are exactly right according to this persons own view of perfection. Only the correct (perfect) shots of video can be used, so all usable video of this person loving what they do are clipped away and edited until nothing of the joy and fun is left in the video.

This person would rather offend everyone around them, than admit they were wrong, they would rather commit an act of aggression  and betrayal, without thinking things through and hurt others in their sphere than retract their aggressive words even when it has been proved that the person they accused of wrong doing was correct after all. This person is so wrapped up in appearing perfect in their looks and the look of their brand, they have forgotten that actions speak so much louder than words and their life is one perpetual run of drama and anger.

I feel so very sorry for this person who has yet to figure out how much better her life could be, I know that this person has missed out on huge opportunities offered just so they never hand over any control. Opportunities you and I would give so much to have offered to us, the kind of thing that can take you from wannabe to star. But for this person losing even I jot of control cannot be handled and so this amazing opportunity has passed them by.

All I know is I wouldn’t like to be them, nor live this way.

For me it is so much more important to be authentic, integrity and honesty are way more important than maintaining some exhausting charade of perfection, even if that means I have to admit I am wrong, that I am not pretty and have photo’s up of me making faces – which happens often.

The first thing I will say about all this is perfection is over-rated. Even if you are a brand, and like a movie star your looks are important to your earning power striving for perfection will lose you more fans or customers than being human will. People crave to connect and to connect they must feel they have something in common with the person. Authenticity and being real are more important even to fans of movie stars that all the beauty in the world, if not then why would all those interviews be watched so avidly by their fans?

Let’s break this back down to our level as I am not a star, and nor are you probably, and the person whose story is what this post is about certainly is not either.I too understand that my brand is me, and I love being on stage doing what I do, inspiring people, pictures in magazines and newspapers, video, radio interviews, television interviews etc.. and yes all these have happened for me over the past 20 years. Yet for me looking perfect and acting as if I can do no wrong would feel so inauthentic to me and separate me from the very people I want to 130534089170733124acJmD8T9cinspire. Far better to be who I am in all my imperfect funny face making glory, and humanity than to aspire to pretend I am somehow infallible or pretend that I look great in every moment.

Because just like every other human on this planet I get dirty cleaning my oven, I go without make up in bed, I screw up, say the wrong thing, I hiccup, sneeze and burp and like every human on the planet I prefer people who are kind, who inspire me and who love me to people who pretend to be something they are not.

So what does striving for perfection mean for you, me and this lost lovely who inspired my post today?

Striving for perfection means you are also striving to dissociate from who you are, it means to me you dislike yourself so much you are willing to stand in boiling water than let anyone know you are human and boiling water isn’t fun. In fact it hurts and that hurt shows in your eyes and actions and can be seen no matter how much make up you add or how harshly you criticise your image.

The funny thing is, is that you are probably the only one who cares, people don’t think about you that often and when they do, they don’t mind if you have a hair out of place, or a crooked smile, the only care how you make them feel.

Do me a favour drop the facade, drop the drama and just be real you will win more fans and have the bonus of a much happier life.

The Difference Between Likers or Followers and Listeners

Likers or ListenersThis is a requested post about the reasons people try to get more Likers on Facebook. The reasons behind this are of course the idea that the more Likers you have on your page, the more people you can market your products and/or services to. However, there is a lot more to this tactic than meets the eye.

For your business page on Facebook to be successful you obviously need Likers, the question is Likers at any cost? There are places you can buy Likers for your pages, there are loads of other tactics and strategies to get more Likers for your page including asking your friends, business acquaintances and others to Like your page. But if these people aren’t listening to you, commenting, sharing, liking and interacting with your brand then my question to you is what is the point?

So you are far better to go for Listeners, listeners actually want to know more about your brand and your business, products and/or services. They are interested in your marketing messages and expertise, they listen, engage with your posts, commenting, asking questions and sharing your posts to their friends as well as the ubiquitous liking your posts and comments. In other words they care and in return you care about them, a mutual admiration society so to speak.

This is one area it is important for you to go for quality rather than quality. Now you may be ready to argue with me on this point, believing as many do, that having lots of Likers makes you look more successful.

This is where we need to chat about Facebook algorithms.

Facebook Algorithms, Edgerank and News Feed Optimisation:

The very first thing you need to know is about the Facebook algorithms for your page which work in ways that punish pages that have little or no interaction. What? What did you say?

So your Edgerank (time you are allow to appear on your Likers walls and stay there) is directly affected if you have a lot of Likers and only a few people interacting and engaging on your page, because the algorithms work on a percentage basis. This means your News Feed Optimisation is negatively affected by your lust for a quantity of Likers with a low percentage of engagement.

When if you had gone after quality Likers or Listeners as I am calling them here, your reach and power would be positively affected by the amount of engagement on your page in relation to the amount of Likers. It’s all about percentages you see.

So a lower population of highly engaged Likers leads to more staying power on the Newsfeeds of your Likers and their friends of friends depending on each persons personal privacy settings. This means more reach for longer.

Now how do you feel about my premise that you need quality Listeners even if it takes longer to build your total Liker population? Are you starting to see the practicality of learning how to engage, converse and connect with your market in ways that gives social proof to each of your marketing messages and conversations?

So Annie How Do I Get More Listeners?

Engagement is the key.

Start highly topical conversations using questions, statements, videos and images. Share great information even if it comes from another site or from someone else straight off your Facebook News Feed. Keep an eye on what kinds of conversations are most important to your listeners by checking on the amount of engagement each one gets and post more of those kinds of conversations.

It’s a little like being at a networking gathering some conversations go nowhere, some fall flat and others take off and gather a larger group making the conversation lively and fun. Images and videos often work extremely well although the less wording and the shorter the video the higher the engagement.

Know your market, know what keeps them up at night, know what worries them, know what their big questions are, know what is important to them and know what makes them happy all within your niche us all this knowledge to start and continue relevant conversations with your Likers.

Have a point of view and an opinion, be controversial if you are – it doesn’t matter if it is not the normal point of view, just have one and share it with your Likers, if someone disagrees it can lead to some amazing conversations around that topic on your page. Above all be authentic about all this don’t play devils advocate unless it is truthful about you and your beliefs. Don’t just be controversial for controversy’s sake.

Ask questions social media is a great way to do some market research and find out what’s important to your market, what trending now in the minds and conversations your market is having about your area of expertise.

Now go out there and have those wonderful, important conversations, inspire your market to Like your page because they want to hear and engage with you and your brand. Remember people do business with people. People they know and like, really like which leads to trust and of course sales and loyalty. Let me know how you go with it all.