I am going to tell you a story, a story about someone I have met and who over the time that I have known them has cemented my beliefs about the facade of perfection.
The person, is so manically wrapped up in their looks that their whole life is affected by one drama after the other, day in day out. This facade of perfection is very centered on this person’s looks, only the correct photographs can be allowed to be seen, only those photo’s that are exactly right according to this persons own view of perfection. Only the correct (perfect) shots of video can be used, so all usable video of this person loving what they do are clipped away and edited until nothing of the joy and fun is left in the video.
This person would rather offend everyone around them, than admit they were wrong, they would rather commit an act of aggression and betrayal, without thinking things through and hurt others in their sphere than retract their aggressive words even when it has been proved that the person they accused of wrong doing was correct after all. This person is so wrapped up in appearing perfect in their looks and the look of their brand, they have forgotten that actions speak so much louder than words and their life is one perpetual run of drama and anger.
I feel so very sorry for this person who has yet to figure out how much better her life could be, I know that this person has missed out on huge opportunities offered just so they never hand over any control. Opportunities you and I would give so much to have offered to us, the kind of thing that can take you from wannabe to star. But for this person losing even I jot of control cannot be handled and so this amazing opportunity has passed them by.
All I know is I wouldn’t like to be them, nor live this way.
For me it is so much more important to be authentic, integrity and honesty are way more important than maintaining some exhausting charade of perfection, even if that means I have to admit I am wrong, that I am not pretty and have photo’s up of me making faces – which happens often.
The first thing I will say about all this is perfection is over-rated. Even if you are a brand, and like a movie star your looks are important to your earning power striving for perfection will lose you more fans or customers than being human will. People crave to connect and to connect they must feel they have something in common with the person. Authenticity and being real are more important even to fans of movie stars that all the beauty in the world, if not then why would all those interviews be watched so avidly by their fans?
Let’s break this back down to our level as I am not a star, and nor are you probably, and the person whose story is what this post is about certainly is not either.I too understand that my brand is me, and I love being on stage doing what I do, inspiring people, pictures in magazines and newspapers, video, radio interviews, television interviews etc.. and yes all these have happened for me over the past 20 years. Yet for me looking perfect and acting as if I can do no wrong would feel so inauthentic to me and separate me from the very people I want to inspire. Far better to be who I am in all my imperfect funny face making glory, and humanity than to aspire to pretend I am somehow infallible or pretend that I look great in every moment.
Because just like every other human on this planet I get dirty cleaning my oven, I go without make up in bed, I screw up, say the wrong thing, I hiccup, sneeze and burp and like every human on the planet I prefer people who are kind, who inspire me and who love me to people who pretend to be something they are not.
So what does striving for perfection mean for you, me and this lost lovely who inspired my post today?
Striving for perfection means you are also striving to dissociate from who you are, it means to me you dislike yourself so much you are willing to stand in boiling water than let anyone know you are human and boiling water isn’t fun. In fact it hurts and that hurt shows in your eyes and actions and can be seen no matter how much make up you add or how harshly you criticise your image.
The funny thing is, is that you are probably the only one who cares, people don’t think about you that often and when they do, they don’t mind if you have a hair out of place, or a crooked smile, the only care how you make them feel.
Do me a favour drop the facade, drop the drama and just be real you will win more fans and have the bonus of a much happier life.