Validate Me I’m Human And I’m Not Going to Apologise for it!

There are times in life when no matter how evolved you believe you are, no matter how logically or enlightened you try to think – you are suddenly confronted with your human-ness.

In that moment you know that all the enlightened teachings in the world cannot sustain you, you need to dig so deep to find solace and the motivation to initiate the changes that need to happen that it can seem like an impossible task. Right about then all your well meaning friends will try to show you – ‘the way,’ and it will just make you feel even more tired, and more like hiding yourself away. You will still love them, but also be very irritated that they cannot validate your experience or theirs.

In this moment you will still know all the things you knew yesterday, that all is connected, that no-one is truly to blame and that life will go on, and that it is only the ego that is feeling let down and none of it will matter!

The truth is that your lovely friends are uncomfortable with your sudden need to admit you are human enough to need to just validate that you are here and now in this moment unprepared to spout your usual positive homilies or even to feel enlightened. It frightens them. This is the shame of the new-ager, that they are often afraid to admit that at times it is all too much and that no matter how many meditations, seminars, retreats or workshop they have gone to, there is a time to feel it all to the depth of your being and just be human.

This is such an important facet of growth, the freedom to be and feel enlightened is also the freedom to be and feel life and all it’s ups and downs, to admit that at times there is no quote or sage advice that can help you feel better about what is going on in your life at this moment. This is the moment when there is a place for the truly enlightened to validate that sometimes you just have to FEEL IT.

Really, really, really feel it until you can come out the other side under your own steam, having survived your ‘dark night of the soul‘ without shing any lights in that dark until you are good and ready.  I wrote about the full meaning of  “I see you” in a previous post, I SEE YOU is validation without judgement, it means I see you as you are in this moment. Do you? Validate Me – is the heart yearning of every human and until they feel that validation the search for it can never be over. The person who needs to validate you most of all is – you!

Do you see yourself warts and all and validate that at times you do not feel very evolved? I can promise you that as a former science teacher I can tell you that we are all indeed just small eddies within a larger sea of energy and that our beliefs, thoughts and emotions collapse the probability waves in our lives into matter and yet in this moment none of this matters or even makes sense to me because right now in this moment I need to feel it – it is the only way I will come out the other side, it is the only way I can survive – staying out of my head, out of control and just be with what is until is isn’t.

Staying true to myself as I spend hours with tears leaking from my eyes like an overflowing bucket is full validation of my experience in this moment and I know that I will be better for it. I know that in doing this I not only validate myself, I also allow myself to fully grow from this experience in ways that could not happen if I were to stay – in control using all the strategies at my disposal to assuage the feelings I am having about life right now.

When you are in doubt, be still, and wait;
when doubt no longer exists for you, then go forward with courage.
So long as mists envelop you, be still;
be still until the sunlight pours through and dispels the mists
– as it surely will.
Then act with courage.
~ Ponca Chief White Eagle (1800′s to 1914)

Right now in this moment I am ‘being still’ and when as will inevitably happen because this has happened before and I always do, I will ‘act with courage’. I am throwing down the gauntlet to any who will listen… are you brave enough to validate yourself too? To journey deep into your own emotions about life and what is and come out the other side a little scarred and tired, yet knowing the full depths of what it means to live?

When I pulled myself out of that wheelchair so long ago now, I made one promise to myself – to live! I did not promise myself to exist or to survive but to live fully and unapologetically experiencing every single now as if it was my last. Yes! it is a roller coaster ride sometimes I am up and sometimes I am down, but I can honestly say I am alive!

Coming?

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