Fear Barriers and the Push Me Pull Me Mind Tricks

Isn’t it interesting what sometimes comes up in our fear barriers?

I know I have had a hard time with doing ‘it’ the way others tell me is the BEST WAY to do ‘it’ – whatever ‘it’ is  and recently I have come up against this one and it has taken me months to move through the fear barriers I had built around it. Perhaps this is your story too, or one very much like it.

For months now I have been doing my best to create the final stage of my Fractal Magic Marketing system, the videos, and although I also have some very valid excuses for not doing so regarding family matters, I also knew that at the heart of it was a total reluctance to move forward in the way I had ‘decided’ and was told – was best. I even began to do the prerequisite work involved in getting these videos begun in this way… and that’s as far as it went.

I felt like a total fraud, telling everyone else to get their video’s up and I couldn’t do my own. I had so many well meaning friends telling me to get it done, that I HAD to get on with it and that I could, if I just put my mind to it and they were and still are correct – I can and could but I won’t. Why?

What about feeling the fear and doing it anyway, Annie?

It took me a little while, as so much else was going on at the same time, and those of you who have read my previous posts and know me via social media will know what I am talking about. But in spite of others ideas of what was really going on e.g. a fear of video or public speaking… this was not what was going on, as anyone who has seen me present will tell you, I kind of like being on stage and come alive when presenting.

What I did realise after some of the other emotions began to subside was that I needed to do it MY WAY, not ‘the best’ way, but MY WAY. I had originally visioned myself recording myself on stage as this is where I am most charismatic, this is where I feel at home and this is where I can respond to the energy around me, not speaking cold into a computer (this might work for some, but not for me). So I have announced to all involved that this is how it is going to be, I will be going back to my original vision because this will work for me, this is who I am and no matter what you are told about being brave at times you also have to honour the WHO of who you are.

Stepping out of your boundary zones and breaking through your barriers to success often means moving through fear and doing something you have never done before and learning something new, it does not mean dishonouring yourself though. There is always a way to do what needs to be done in a way that honours who you really are and allows you to look forward to breaking through that barrier.

Now I ask you what tricks can your mind play that prevent you from accessing the success that is rightfully yours? Do you second guess yourself so often that you reach a stalemate? Do you let others tell you ‘the best’ way to do ‘it’ which is complely opposite your ‘best way’ to do it?

Remember this: you can only be right for one person and that person is you!

Take a moment to go through these four main mind tricks you could be playing on yourself:

1. I don’t know what to do or where to begin
   The easy way around this one is to ask someone who has done it before, or teaches what you need to know and learn. This of course means asking for help and that can often be another barrier, get over it and ask. There is always someone who is willing to show you what you need to do and where to start. Starting is often a matter of having a vision of what you want to do, knowing your desired outcomes and the why of why you are doing that and then using that vision and information to create steps to your goal. This can be from a big picture point of view, and can also be done for the smaller steps that help you reach your grand vision as in the case of my marketing system videos, I had a vision of what I would do, and began to second guess myself which stalled everything.
2. I don’t know how to do it
   This can be a very hazardous road as getting advice on how can go against the who of who you are, get advice from more than one source and as you do put the advice into two categories, “Yes! I can see myself doing that.” and “No! I would never do it that way.” Don’t let your fears prevent you from doing it at all just do enough research to find a way to do what you need to do that works with your gifts, talents and skills.
3. I don’t have the resources
   Chances are someone you know does! So start asking around to find who can help you, you may be able to do a contra, or the person you need may even delay charging you for their expertise until you begin to see a financial return. You’ll never know until you ask.
4. I don’t want to do it at all
   Now is the time to look deep within, is this a true statement or just your fears talking?  If you could find a way to do it that works with your gifts, talents and skills – why wouldn’t you? Stepping out of your comfort zones is a prerequisite for success so step out and up to it with all you have to give.

Here’s a great list of some of the reason people give themselves for not achieving their goals:

A lack of time – time is not a factor you may feel overwhelmed only as a result of your reluctance to move forward, get up earlier, stay up later, watch less tv and you will find there is time

Lack of ability – learn or outsource – Richard Branson knows how to outsource, he knows he is an ideas man and hires the people he needs to bring his ideas to fruition.

Genetics – managing what you think is a genetically inherited trait is all about stepping through those fear barriers, as there is no such thing as a genetically inherited fear, more conditioning and we can all overcome that.

Lack of opportunities – the truth is opportunities present themselves daily, you just need to be able to see that they are opportunities and how to turn them into opportunities

Other people – the only person who can stand in the way of your success is YOU

Bad luck, destiny, fate – no such thing “It is our choices that make us who we are.”

Lack of motivation – get some everybody goes through the ups and downs of life, if you are truly unmotivated by your avenue for success, it may be time to look at what you are passionate about.

Attitude – at times we can really need an attitude adjustment either because of a lack of motivation (see previous point), laziness, ignorance, apathy, procastination and toxic self-talk if this is you do what ever you need to do to adjust your attitude and get on with it.

Overthinking and self-doubt – these two are a combination as self-doubt usually comes along after we have over-thought everything. Stop shooting yourself in the foot via analysis paralysis and self-doubt.

Never finishing what you start – this is a biggy for me as I love the rush of a new project or idea, but then again so does Branson and he uses other people to finish what he starts – remember this there is always a way.

So what tricks of mind can you use to move past your fear barriers? You could use either a push me or a pull me mind trick, a little like the Jedi mind tricks and just as powerful:

Push Me: this is when you decide that where you are right now is NOT where you want to be and you use you need to move out of your current life into a new one. This is very powerful as many have used the desire to better themselves and their situations to push themselves into a better one.

Use this when you have no other motivation other than, “I am so over this and I don’t want this in my life any more!”

Pull Me: this is when you use the elastic properties of a vision of how things could be to pull you into your future. This is by far the more powerful of the two methods, dream a dream of life as you would want it to be and use this vision to fuel your elastic band, to put an irresistable intent into play that pulls you toward your dreams.

Use this when you know what you want out of life and move yourself towards it with loads of emotional connections to what feels good and right in your world. Following your joy!

remember the infinite possibilities…

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• Thirteen Tricks to Motivate Yourself – Stepcase Lifehack (lifehack.org)
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